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An eastern cult is about to sacrifice a woman to the goddess Kaili[1]. Just before she is killed however, they notice that she is not wearing the sacrificial ring. It's revealed that Ringo Starr, drummer of the Beatles, has it, sent to him by the victim and her sister, who is also the high priestess of the cult (both of whom are fans of the Beatles), and it's stuck on his finger. Determined to retrieve the ring and sacrifice the woman, the great Swami Clang (McKern), the high priestess Ahme (Bron) and several cult members including Bhuta (Bluthal) leave for London. After several failed attempts to steal the ring without Ringo noticing, they confront him in an Indian restaurant. Ringo learns that if he doesn't return the ring soon, he will become the next sacrifice. Unfortunately, the ring is stuck and he can't take it off.

The band is chased around London by Clang, Ahme and the cult members. In a desperate effort to dispose of the ring, the band resorts to the bumbling efforts of a mad scientist, Foot (Spinetti) and his assistant Algernon (Kinnear); when his equipment turns out to have no effect on the ring, Foot decides that he too must somehow acquire it.

The band flees to the Swiss Alps and narrowly escapes a trap due to assistance from Ahme, who is secretly helping the Beatles as gratitude for her sister's reprieve. They ask for protection from Scotland Yard and get it in the form of a cowardly Inspector (Cargill). After being attacked whilst recording in the middle of Salisbury Plain, they hide in Buckingham Palace until they are almost captured by Foot. From there, they run to the Bahamas, followed by Scotland Yard officers, Foot and the cult. After Ringo is nearly captured, the other Beatles pose as him in order to lure the cult members, who are then arrested by the local Police. Despite their best efforts, Ringo is captured by Foot, who takes him on to a ship intending to cut off his finger to get the ring.

Ahme rescues Ringo by giving Foot a shrinking solution in exchange. The two try to to escape the ship by jumping into the water, however Ringo can't swim. They are captured by the cult and tied down on the beach. Clang begins the ceremony to sacrifice Ringo, after telling him that the cult members are prepared to attack the rest of the Beatles and police when they come to the rescue and that if Ringo attempts to warn them he will die instantly.

Ringo manages to untie himself and tries to wave to his bandmates to warn them away. In the process, the ring falls from his finger. He puts the ring on Clang's hand, saying "Get sacrificed! I don't subscribe to your religion!" Ahme declares that Clang will be the next sacrifice, as he is wearing the ring. The movie ends with Help! playing one last time and everyone running around. Clang manages to remove the ring and gives it to Foot and Algernon (who ask him to translate the Eastern text on the shrinking solution bottle). They, however, leave the ring in the sand while the police rush about arresting the cult while the Beatles playfully run around; the ring ends up on Bhuta's finger. The movie ends with a dedication to Elias Howe, who invented the sewing machine.